Writing about not writing

“I’d slit your throat for a trinket”. Over and over in my head it rings. It’s been two days since I stopped writing daily, and I’ve realized that addictions always come as a surprise.

Mount and Blade: Warband, that’s where the line is from. It’s a Turkish video game about a fantasy medieval world, started by a husband-wife duo (imagine those arguments!). After lecturer V suggested I stop trying to post everyday and take some time to pay attention to the world, to see what that would do for my writing, I’ve been unsure what to do with myself.

I spent first day repeatedly opening new tabs, making notes of ideas until I realized I wasn’t supposed to be working that day. It felt like something was trying to claw it’s way out from inside my head. I rolled over and told myself I’d find something better to do all day. I then realized it was 5:30 am and I was thinking about writing even before I was fully awake.

The next day, the semester was over and I downloaded Mount and Blade again, since I had nothing to do during the study holidays. After a day of gaming, reading, being attacked by bandits who kept telling me they’d slit my throat for a trinket and trying to convince emirs to invade Nordic lands etc. here I am again. Writing.